I realized something after coming out of my doctors office today.  He said I minimize things in my stress. And don't speak things out. Well that's true I make my self actually think that the things I'm dealing with are smaller than they are.  I feel like I'm just a pebble in the earth, that there are 3.6 zillion more people on the earth that have more problems that I do and mine are not important compared to there's.  And I feel like if I try and fix myself over the world then that would be selfish.  And that's why I have the problems I do.  Cause is express myself in anyway I would be told oh I'm just complaining and being a wimp when in reality I'm just letting all the stuff that I acumulated over time out on just spilled milk.  Like that fact that I thought someone I liked was gay.  That thought almost made me cry.  Now it's reasons like this is why I just say all of this ony blog because if I said anything like this on facebook or tumblr people would complain and have to give there two since worth.